Kalabaaz• You're all a bunch of Wankers

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You're all a bunch of Wankers

That giant database of information, Google, is at the command of our demands. A statistical aggregate of our searches within this information offers a peek into the Zeitgeist, defined as:

zeitgeist | Pronunciation: 'tsIt-"gIst, 'zIt | Function: noun | Etymology: German, from Zeit (time) + Geist (spirit) | Date: 1884 | Meaning: the general intellectual, moral, and cultural climate of an era.

So what is the general intellectual, moral, and cultural climate of our era? All trends seem to suggest that it is Page 3 bullshit and you're all a bunch of voyeuristic wankers.

While summing up last year, Google presented "the most watched, most downloaded, and most enjoyed search queries of the year". The winners were Paris Hilton, Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan. Some of today's hottest news is:

13 Grand A Night, Dolphins Included [This is about a new 800 million pound hotel on a artificial island shaped like a palm tree.]
Dita Von Teeses For Wonderbra [who's designed her own range of underwear for Wonderbra, and not only did she appear alongside a giant bra to promote it, there's a viral video of her in a bra. And she innocently asks: "I wonder if people on the Internet will like that kind of thing?"]
Bum's the word [The female winner of 'Rear Of The Year' 2008 has been in Brookside, Chicago, Hell's Kitchen and more recently in a Cottage..blah blah blah]
33 Grand A Minute Minogue [Searches are up for "palm island Dubai", after the news that Kylie Minogue is being paid 2 million to sing at a party. That's 33 grand a minute!]
The Beck Stops Hair [Victoria Beckham stole the show at New York Fashion Week with a new haircut which some are calling 'the pixie'. A step up from her last which was known as 'the pob'.]
Virgin Radio? [US Radio host Howard Stern is said to be furious with reports that he auctioned off a 22-year-old girl's virginity live on air.]

No doubt you'll read about all this in the Slimes of India in a couple of days after they've had a chance to steal it as their own exclusives which makes the uber-cool apes of India not only hollow but also slightly behind times. The hottest trends in India according to the Slimes are:

Sexy Kim Kardashian: Good at nothing?
Big B caught reading Playboy
Sexiest Woman Alive Photo Shoot
Katrina's rare childhood pics
Gauri Khan...SRK's wife

And here's a screenshot of Google Ads from the Slimes Hotklix homepage where they encourage you to watch Mukesh Ambani's plush 27 floor residence and share millions of videos about Britney with no underwear:

Hotklix Screenshot

There's something to be said about our era where the "educated" and "prosperous" place a high premium on debauchery. In India it seems even more offensive and terribly disturbing because you find yourself building an immunity to the collective poverty of one in every four people living on less than $2 dollars a day.

One hears that cliched "Sex Sells" argument but its clear to see that this is much more than that. This represents our highest aspirations. Unlimited wealth and women available as sexual objects seem to be the ultimate aspiration to aim for. While you're trying to get it or if you can't get the real thing, then drooling over others' wealth and fantasizing about sexual objects seems like the next best alternative.

But have you ever wondered what this industry of voyeuristic muck is all about? How do the paparazzi work? What are the marketing strategies behind it? How does someone who doesn't seem to be doing anything become a million dollar brand? And of course, how come the defining moment of our era is an anorexic Paris Hilton fucking in night vision?

The Canadian program Doc Zone takes an intelligent look at how billions of dollars are made from the fame game in the 21st century and how people who don't seem to be doing anything make money from wankers like you. This is must-see-TV.

tags:media consumerism video

Posted on 09 Oct, 08 byNavneet